AIM HIGH! is a book of 101 lessons for teenagers that will help them in school and life. Every teenager grades 6 -12 should have a copy of AIM HIGH! The book contains easy to read and understand traditional wisdom and common sense.

AIM HIGH! is not sold in stores.

Excerpt:

Empathize with others.

Empathy is your ability to identify with another person and understand their feeling and situation.

Empathy allows you to form an understanding with someone else.

 15 tips for communications and reaching out to teenagers: 

Brad Berger, author of AIM HIGH! 101 Tips For Teens

Communicating with a teenager can be a daunting task. Every teenager is different and many parents just don’t know how to reach them. Over many years of speaking with teenagers, I have developed certain techniques that make communicating easier and more effective. Here are my top 15:

1.     Pick your time and place. Pick the correct time and place to speak with a teen by observing him and adapting to his needs, not yours. Often, the most effective communications take place where there are minimal diversions. Many times, the best turf is home, specifically the teen’s room. (Be respectful if the door is closed and knock before entering). Be alone with the teenager so you can focus on each other. If the teen is in a terrible mood, wait. You want the teen to be focused on you and not on other things.

2.     Maintain a positive attitude. Look for the good. Once, when I was trying to give my son “constructive criticism” and told him so, he looked at me and said, “Criticism is criticism.” I understood what he meant. Try not to put the teen down, because this will make him angry and defensive.

3.     Show respect. Of course adults expect respect from a teenager when communicating. But to be respected, a person has to show respect to others. My mother taught me that it is good to let the teen speak first; it shows you are listening. Don’t interrupt; no matter how much you may disagree, let her finish speaking. You can even ask if she’s finished and if you can now speak. Again, show respect as you would to an adult. After all, the teenager is a young adult.

4.     Be supportive. Try not to take a position or side against the teenager. Most situations are not purely black or white. Yes, some issues allow no room for compromise. However, many issues are not concrete and allow room for exploration.

5.     You know that you are the boss. It is not necessary to pound this into a teen’s head. Know that you can discipline the teen if push comes to shove, so there is no need to threaten the teen when communicating. Threats cut off communication.

6.     Keep your cool. A teenager will attempt to push your buttons. This is how they exert control. Sometimes, when listening to a teen speak you have to ignore any words that are calculated only to get you upset. Although she may raise or her voice, you do not have to react in an equally loud voice. As a teen gets louder, it is a good technique to do the opposite and speak in a low voice; this will help diffuse the teen’s anger rather than escalate the conversation into a loud argument where you both stop listening.

7.     Show empathy. We were all teenagers, and with the fun there was misery. Try to identify with the teen’s situation and feelings as you listen.

8.     Avoid rude words. If the teenager starts to use inappropriate words, simply ask him to please not use rude words. Teens usually use a rude word because they either slip and use a word they may use with their friends, or they just want to push your buttons. Again, keep your cool and don’t get into a cursing match. Use a soft tone and ask them respectfully not to use rude words.

9.     Listen. It is hard for an adult, let alone a teenager, to know when to stop talking and start listening. Make your point and then listen to the teen’s response. The more you talk and lecture, the more likely you are to lose the teen’s attention. You want the teen to be focused on you and what you are saying, so try to make it short and sweet.

10.  Don’t belabor mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, especially when they are young. If the teenager did something wrong, tell her what she did wrong and how to deal with the situation the next time. Again, lectures lose teens. Urge her to try and not make the same mistake twice. However; if/when the same mistake is made again, use the same technique you used the first time – don’t start telling the teen how stupid she is. Remember, she already does not feel good about making the mistake again.

11.  Support. Let the teen know you are there for him. You want a teen to feel that he can come and speak to you when he has a problem and you won’t pounce. Control your own emotions; you are the adult. A teenager has to feel comfortable talking to you. Otherwise, they won’t.

12.  Let them vent. If the teenager is very angry, let them yell and scream; you can take it. As long as the teen is not violent and not hurting anything, let him get the anger out of his system.

13.  You’re the adult. Always remember that you are the adult and you want to act and not react. Control your own behavior when communicating with the teenager so that they have an example of the proper way to communicate – don’t become a teenager, you’ve been there and done that.

14.  Don’t underestimate humor. Try to have a sense of humor with the teenager. This is definitely difficult, but humor softens a situation. At the same time, if the situation is serious, don’t insert a joke to deflect from the issue(s) at hand.

15.  Thank the teen. Let the teenager know that you appreciate them communicating with you.

To help a teenager learn how to act in school and life, have them read AIM HIGH! 101 Tips For Teens, a book written expressly for teens in the short-and-sweet style they use for IMs (instant messages) and tweets. To see sample pages of the book, go to www.aimhigh101tips.com. AIM HIGH! is sold in both English and Spanish editions exclusively at amazon.com. A free app of the book is available at the iTunes store in English, Spanish and French for iPhone, iPad and iTouch. ÓBerger 2010.

 Professional Review by KR:

"This is a wonderful book for teens as well as their parents. It provides kids with simple basic axioms that we all learned (or should have learned) as kids. And it provides a refresher course for all of us. It's an easy read that teens will be able to pick up, understand and relate to.

I'm on the Board of a non-profit organization that runs many youth development programs and provides social services for many school age kids. I plan to give several copies of this book to our Executive Director and suggest that he distribute them to the teens in our programs. I hope we can get someone to underwrite the purchase of 250 of these books so that we can give one to each child. Every parent should buy one of these books, read it and give it to their teenager as a present for the holidays."

Professional Review by AuthorsDen: 

AIM HIGH

101 Tips for Teens

By Berger and Pehme

Published by AIM HIGH 101 tips, LLC

101 Pages

ISBN 978-0-615-33022-8

AIM HIGH 101 tips for Teens is a light and easy read yet carries a lot of information in a unique and simplified way.  Having been a teen and now having raised two of my own, I can attest to the good tips this book presents its readers.    From the tip on “Homework” which details completing your homework and on time to the page on “Pride” discussing a positive mental attitude, this book is not short on giving valuable advice and reminders to everyone actually not just teens.

The Written format of the book with one tidbit of advice on each page is easy for teenagers to embrace with little attitude.  It is a book that can be used for reference left in a place teens may pick it up; the bathroom, the coffee table, their desk.   The cover of the book is bright and colorful and lends to different ethnicities nicely.  

Though the book was written I believe for teens ranging 14-18 I think it is also very appropriate for the pre-teens. I read this book to my eleven year old and the information was well received. I saw her pick this book up on her own which was a great delight. She was interested in reading tips for teens as all tweens aspire to be older than they actually are!   In reality I feel the book is actually better suited for a child entering high school than already in that environment. I feel this book would be an excellent pick for an eighth grade graduation gift from a grandparent for example.  It would also be very suitable as a nice stocking stuffer.  It is small enough to engage their audience yet quick enough to become palpable by their readers.

I appreciated AIM HIGH 101 tips for teens and even snuck it into my son’s suitcase as he entered college this past week! Things he already knows? I hope so. I think so. Good reminders? Most definitely!

Theresa Potts

Book Reviewer